By Tony Deyal
I can understand Chicago. In fact, even though none of us that age had been in the United States (US), our teacher made us shout, “Chicken in the car and the car can’t go, that is the way you spell Chicago.” We had also heard one of the Calypsonians in Port-of-Spain, Trinidad, with a Spanish joke. The term in nearby Venezuela was, “Bien acá, bien acá” which means “Okay here, okay here” or “All good here, all good here”. Our performer felt that it was not enough to deal with some of the very scary problems we faced. He went beyond the “acá” and demanded that we “bend a truck” or even a “trailer.” What we didn’t know at the time was that in Spanish, “bien a car” translates to “bien a carro” or “bien a coche”, both meaning “good car” or “nice car.” What got to us was the double. In other words, “car car.”
According to Reddit, an internet forum and platform for discussion, the “car car” phrase doesn’t appear to be a recognized slang term. Fortunately, in Trinidad, among my Indian family, “car car” was what we called one of our uncles who was known as “Jacket” because he wore one wherever he went, especially when he was working in the sugarcane fields. Another family member we laughed at but only when our parents and family were not around, was “Cha Cha”. He was an older uncle but, among US blacks, Cha Cha meant “sexual intercourse.” Perhaps, even worse, was my auntie who, as an Indian, was called “Khaki” but was pronounced “Car key.” Because she was upset with Uncle Jacket and his ladies, she hid his car key so he couldn’t go anywhere.
In England where “Car Car” was short for motor car and “Car.com” was for people who needed help to find the perfect vehicle, the slang words for cars included whip, beater, crate, jalopy, and sleeper. At the same time, many of the dogs were (and still are) car-related included Bentley, Ferrari, Mercedes, Cooper, BMW’s “M” Series, and Turbo. There are some still named “Cadillac” and “Bentley”. Interestingly, “Chevy” is a popular name as is “Dodge” which is seen as powerful and strong. My Caribbean friends laughed at that one because when we call someone “Dodge” it means that he or she is hiding from someone, avoiding being hit or ‘bounce down’ or, like one of the senators, dodging questions about his relationship with one of the female staff.
What I did not dodge at all were my favourite cars named after dogs like the AC Greyhound, Bedford Beagle, Hillman Husky, Aston Marning Bulldog, Ferrari Berlinetta Boxer, Willies-Overland Whippet, and, of course, Land Rover Wolf. What I also found is that there were a lot of jokes about dogs in the car business. For example, “How did a dog get from Boston to New York?” He took a Greyhound. Then there was the question, “Why do poor dogs share their tails?” They’re just trying to make ends meet. A few more that are funny include, “Why didn’t the dog want to play football? It was a boxer.; “What did the dog install in his car to impress all his friends? A subwoofer.; “What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?” Their masters.; and “Why are conjunctions dogs’ favourite parts of speech?” Dogs love buts.
However, no dogs are close to Abott and Costello, the American comedy duo. They came up with: “Who’s on First” and that as well as the rest of the comedies made them the most popular team of the nineteen forties and fifties. However, if you think they were good, take a trip to Trinidad this year. Right now, Trinidad takes the case, cake, ice cream and “PEE.” As one person explained to me, vehicle names in Trinidad for the past 40 years used a system where the first letter of a vehicle registration plate indicated the type of vehicle, and the subsequent characters were numbers. The letters “A,” “B,” “C,” etc, are used as prefixes to distinguish between categories of vehicles such as private cars, commercial vehicles, and those owned by the government.
Last year, 2024, the licence plate was “PDG.” This year, it is “PEE” and, as several people have said laughing loudly and noisily, “When you drive a ‘PEE’ in Trinidad, nobody can take it seriously.” That’s true. Some are coming down the track like “PEN”, “PEP”, “PET” and one that is “PES”, something which we have a lot of in the Caribbean. But “PEE”? I would prefer to buy a bicycle until the urination gives way to something that makes us happy and not have PEE. However, that could be problematic.
One of the guys I knew in England was handed a speeding ticket for the way he drove his car. He shouted at the office, “Hey! What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?” The policeman replied, “Keep it. When you collect four of them, you get a bicycle.” What I heard from a group of my friends helped me to take the PEE in stride. It went, “If you have PEE and you know it clap your hands, / If you have PEE and you know it clap your hands, / If you have PEE and you know it / Then your face will surely show it / If you have PEE and you know it, clap your hands.” What my friends continued in the rest of the song with “stomp your feet” even the neighbours joined in.
While the PEE is funny, there is actually one in the dog business which sounds like “dog” but is pronounced “Doge.” It started as a Latin word meaning “leader.” It was also a Venetian Italian dialect for “duke.” However, it is now causing havoc in the US. Who let the dog out? The president of the US, Donald Trump. However, most of the media have said that while DOGE vowed to make government more “efficient”, it is doing the opposite. In fact, DOGE is forcing employees to spend hours justifying even the most basic purchases. Worse, Elon Musk calls Trump’s signature bill, a “disgusting abomination.”
While Trump is now “Mr TACO” because he “always chickens out.” Other jokes are everywhere, and this is one for the road, “president Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Trump told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. “What happened to you?” asked Trump “Well, the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me.” “My God, what did you tell them?” asks Trump. The driver replies, “I’m president Donald Trump’s driver, and I just killed the pig.”
*Tony Deyal read, “Did you hear Trump’s limo driver got busted for possession of drugs?” They found over 300 pounds of dope in the back seat.
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