By Tony Deyal
Trinidad Calypsonian “Dougla” (Cletus Ali) sang “Man Nicer Than Woman”, supposedly by a young man who preferred men to women. The chorus ended with, “…The man start to bawl/ They eh got no woman in this world / Sweeter than man at all. / Just take out the rouge and the powder, / Get a scissors, cut off the hair, / Wipe off the lipstick and then watch the two, / Tell me who sweeter than who?”
Hearing this, most women were like Singing Sandra who sang: “No woman no cry.” Even men got into the act and, together with at least two great female singers, they put the record straight. The great Calypso Rose made it clear, “Me no want no married man”, and Denyse Plummer sang, “Woman Is Boss”. But long before the two ladies, Atilla the Hun, in 1935, predicted that “Women Will Rule The World”. He was followed one year later, in 1936, by King Radio who believed “Man Smart (Women Smarter).” Then Atilla returned in 1941 with the fact that “Woman is Not the Weaker Sex”.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying: “I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie.” But it is a fact that women often score higher in emotional intelligence, multitasking skills, relationship and communication, health and longevity, and rick aversion. In addition, women tend to have longer life expectancies.
Many exhibit healthier lifestyles, often being very proactive about health care. If men don’t agree, consider what happened when a man and woman were going at it when they heard a car coming in the front. The woman quickly shouted, “Harry! Harry! Jump out of the window fast. It’s my husband outside.” Frightened, the man grabbed his jockey shorts and started trying to put them on while climbing out of the window. Suddenly, he turned about and said, “Hang on! I’m you husband! Why would you do that to me?” She replied, “So tell me, why did you try to run?”
There are a lot of jokes about women and sex. For example, a man and a woman were in bed together and the man wrapped his arms around her and said, “Honey, am I the first man you’ve ever made love to?” The woman sighed and said, “Why does everyone ask me that?” What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and women love to get it? A hundred-dollar bill. Then there is the new study which reveals that women slightly overweight, live longer than the men who mention it.
In one a woman’s husband told her: “Scientists have found that men say about 10,000 words a day while women say about 20,000.” His response was: “It’s because we have to repeat everything twice to you blockheads.” But the facts are clear. When women are in their 30s and 40s, their sex drive is strongest. One study showed that women between 27 and 45 have more frequent and more intense sexual fantasies than younger or older women. They also have more sex and are more likely to have it sooner in a relationship.
Also, most women are sexually active during adolescence. They reach their peak orgasmic frequency in their 30s and have a constant level of sexual capacity up to the age of 55 with little evidence that aging affects them in later life. Women can also experience immense sexual pleasure as they age. Some say they have better orgasms after the age of 60, and don’t need the man’s erection in order to come. What’s more, older women who are sexually satisfied have often discovered something important: that they can be the initiators of sensual pleasure. As one lady told me, “Take that and smoke it.”
I got into the research because at 79 going on 80, I complained to a friend about my situation, and he said: “Boy I know exactly what you’re feeling. I’ve been there for two years already, and my wife prefers me to live long than die quickly from taking Viagra, Levitra and Cialis. Not to mention penis pumps and implants. But it hard, and always at the same time, not hard.” What is known is that men’s peak of sexual desire occurs at age 25 – 29, and thus earlier than for women. In a study by another expert, women aged between 27 – 45 reported higher desire than younger (aged 18 – 26) and older (aged 46 and older) women.
It is believed that there are five reasons why women need more sex than men. These include greater sex drive in women; more sexual attraction; their capability of having multiple orgasms and the fact they are more open to options; touching, talking and then sex; middle age issues; and higher sex desires. For example, a man and a woman were at a bar. The man said, “Hey, how about if I offer you a drink?” The woman replied, “No thanks. They are bad for my legs.” The man wasn’t sure why but asked, “Why? Do they smell?” The woman responded with a smile, “No. They spread.”
I didn’t believe it at first but there are books with six ages of sex! Six women across six decades who talk about how their sex lives and sensuality have changed and what they’ve learned about the politics of pleasure. They said things like, “Other things I’ve learned. A big penis doesn’t equal good sex, and a small one doesn’t equal bad.”; “I now feel certain of my body.”; “Sex in my 40s is unquestionably the best of my life. I am strong and hungry.”; “It’s more about maintaining intimacy than animal instinct.”; “Passion plays a less emphatic tun. I’m delightfully self-sexual.”; and the 70-year-old, “Now its less impulsive and more sensual.” Then she added, “Women my age are not afraid to fight this youth-obsessed culture and reclaim our sexuality.”
Unfortunately, what comes out more often is how women feel about men and their behaviour. One view is that men don’t show their true feelings because they don’t have any. Another asked, “How is a man like the weather?” Her view, “Nothing can be done to change either of them.” Then there is, “How can you tell a man is thinking about sex?” He’s breathing. “What is the difference between a man and a catfish?” One is a bottom-feeding, scum-sucker, and the other is a fish. Then there is, “What did God say after creating man?” I can do better! And another toughie, “Why do men want to marry virgins?” They can’t stand criticism. And the one that really hits home, “There are two times in life when a man doesn’t understand women. Before marriage and after marriage.”
*Tony Deyal heard a man tell his wife that she should not wear a bra since she had nothing to put in it. She had the last word, “You wear pants, don’t you?”
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