By Johnny Coomansingh
He kept chucking me off and jabbing me but I did not pay him any attention. I had just eaten my little piece of coconut bake and fried common fowl egg, the lunch that my struggling mother gave to me. It was customary in my high school that quite a few boys would gather outside the Home Economics Department to have lunch. Maybe it was a bad and shoddy design, but that government high school had no lunchroom for students. However, there was this student who seemed to be restless. It was as though, as we Trinis would say, his ‘monkey gland raise.’ He wanted to push me around insisting that we must fight.
I was no fighter, and I never learned to box. I was just a poor church-going struggling boy trying to survive in high school. Unbeknownst to my ‘attacker’ I spent most of my free time working hard in my godmother’s cocoa estate. Although a bit shorter than my classmates, I was quite robust for my size. The hard work I ‘endured’ in the cocoa production activities provided the training and strength I needed to defend myself. Nevertheless, here I was being tormented by this bully who would not stop chucking me off.
I came to understand there and then that I was being bullied by this student who danced around me. Tired of the provocation, I decided to fix the problem. As calm as could be, I stood up and removed part of the uniform, my only white shirt. In such a situation there could be the spilling of blood and I did not want my mother to question me.
He was quick with his punches and pounded my face quite a few times. The blows fell on me like thunderbolts but I was determined to teach him a hard lesson. In Trinidad there is a statement: “Never trouble trouble unless trouble trouble yuh.” I was in trouble, but this fellow, this abhorrent bully picked on the wrong person whom he wanted to beat down and humiliate.
Then it happened! I don’t know from whence it came but somehow, I am of the belief that God intervened and I struck him with my left fist in the middle of his top lip. This was a “David and Goliath” story right there! His lip was not that tough and my punch split his philtrum (the midline groove in the upper lip that runs from the top of the lip to the nose) in two. All I heard him say was “O God, yuh buss mih lip” as he held his hand over his mouth. Blood flowed. He was taken to the hospital where he received two stitches to mend the cut.
After that episode at my high school the news spread; no one dared to provoke me again. Many of the bullies both male and female recognized that I was not accepting of their bullying. I was no ‘badjohn’ but I maintained my stance and was careful not to get too close to the bullies. Although at least four of them threatened to ‘sampat’ (beat) me after school, I found a way with my rhetoric to escape the miscreants. The establishment of a ‘No Fear’ policy in my being saved me from running away from school. There were at least four times in my high school life that I wanted to run away from school because of the bullies.
Some of the teachers were bullies too. As far as I am concerned, they were uneducated. They talked to me as though I were a mangy dog! One of them, a certain Art Teacher, scared the daylights out of me. I could have seen fire in his eyes as he yelled at me. I was just eleven years old and so afraid of school. Another one, the Woodwork Teacher, slapped me in my face for nothing in front of the whole class and laughed at me.
My female Spanish Teacher did not ask me if I had a problem; or if I had a book but she promptly chased me from her class with these words: “Go and graze!” I was sent to graze on the adjacent lawn. What an interesting horror house. Could you imagine that the school’s motto was The Pleasant Seat of Sweet Learning? No one knew of my troubles and I did not want to burden my mother with my school problems. She already had too much to bear with looking after nine fatherless children.
It’s October 8, 2024, a very, very sad day. Fifteen-year-old St Stephen’s College student Jayden Alex Lalchan was being laid to rest. It would seem that this student was bullied from Form One up to Form Four and he would have ‘died’ long before he took his life on October 03, 2024. Jayden, an American citizen complained about bullying since he was admitted to St Stephens College, Princes Town, a school controlled by the Anglican Board.
The loathsome nature of bullying is not a novel discovery. It is probably as ancient as the hills. As I wrote in my book titled: Seven Years on Adventist Street published in 2015 here is my take:
“At 11 years old, I became a collegiate at Northeastern College (NEC), Sangre Grande, Trinidad, and immediately started reading for the Cambridge University, ordinary level (O’level) General Certificate Examination (GCE). Life in secondary school was a trial by fire; it was survival of the fittest.
Northeastern College was a strange new world. Learning, knowing, and understanding the nuances, norms, and idiosyncrasies of the several students in my class and the school in general were lessons in themselves; unexpected lessons.
As the first one in my family to make it to high school, my trek through NEC began by trial and error. Many days at school were days of confusion and frustration. Proper guidance at NEC was sadly lacking. I had to find my way somehow.
Compounding the problems I had at this school were bullies and some of the teachers who ridiculed, insulted, derided, and embarrassed me with their sarcasm and innuendo. I really could not understand the insensitivity displayed by some teachers at NEC.
“It was like I jumped from the frying pan into the blazing fire. This was another type of flogging that the education system offered. This was another part of the world with which I had to quickly become acquainted.”
Published in the Trinidad Guardian on October 08, 2024, Sascha Wilson’s article, Police, education officials probe Jayden’s death…minister asks public to stop attacking other students online posted the comments made by Murchison Brown, a patron of the Bishop Anstey Association (BAA) who described the “death of Lalchan as sad and unfortunate.”
In another article titled: Hounded to the day he died, written by Khamarie Rodriguez and published in the Daily Express newspapers (Oct. 08, 2024) these observations were highlighted:
“Days before 15-year-old Jayden Lalchan died, teachers of St Stephen’s College had to escort him home after school, fearing that he would be attacked and harmed by bullies. President of the school’s Parent Teacher Association (PTA) Anand Deonarine told the Express yesterday that the Form Four student was followed by two teachers in their vehicles as he walked to his house…following an escalated confrontation between Jayden and his alleged bullies that had turned violent.
“They stayed in their vehicles while he walked and made sure he got home. If as an educator you had to take such drastic measures, did not the lights go off in your head to tell you something is wrong?” In the days following the attack, Jayden would receive a barrage of threats to his life, and the lives of his families via social media, his family said.
The threats added layers to years of alleged bullying at the hands of some of his classmates and peers, his parents said. He was teased for his speech impediment and bullied relentlessly for over four years, according to his mother. And last Wednesday, the years of alleged abuse led Jayden to reach his “breaking point”, they said. He was pronounced dead after being taken to the Princes Town District Health Facility. “I lost my son to bullying,” his grieving mother told the Express on Sunday.
According to Rodriguez, Deonarine added:
“Many times this is where educators fail…It is a very unfortunate situation, we the parents condemn bullying in all schools. Sometimes it is difficult for these teachers. This boy tried to reach out for help, his mom reached out for help, that is the truth of the matter.
Right now is a very tough time. What I would like to see is zero tolerance on bullying and we encourage and cultivate a spirit of love and an open door policy with teachers and administration in the school so students can feel free to share their concerns without repercussions.”
While the ministry may try to adopt a policy where it is the last resort to expel a child, if that is the case the ministry ought to put more stringent measures in place to help the school and admin deal with bullying.”
In the Newsday article: Schoolboy Jayden Lalchan’s suicide death reaches budget debate, written by Melissa Doughty and published on Oct. 08, 2024, Barry Padarath, member of parliament for Princes Town said that the “death of Lalchan had rocked not only Princes Town but the entire country. Schools were meant to be safe places and a haven to learn and develop. Instead, for Jayden, it became a place where he was bullied, tormented, tortured, haunted and preyed upon like an animal.”
The article continued:
“Padarath said he spent three hours listening to the tributes his parents heaped on him: a child gifted academically, award-winning, respectful and ambitious but now dead.
I cannot stand here today, Madam Speaker, and tell you I do not know what that feels like. I cannot tell you that I too have not experienced what Jayden endured. I cannot tell you that when I entered these hallowed walls that I too expected that this would be a safe space.”
He said from the nation’s schools to its Parliament, bullying, torment and torture were normalized and he made no apologies for saying so. What has occurred in our nation’s schools is a direct result of what is being mirrored in the highest offices in our land: bravado, toxicity, vulgarity.
I cannot imagine the endless pain losing a child brings with it, but I know what contemplating suicide is.”
Jayden lived in a very deep valley of distress and fear. As a former student I also received my share of bullying and torment, I could only imagine what Jayden passed through. He was helpless and defenceless.
Not only is bullying a horrible crime (for the want of a better word) at school but sadly bullying occurs, about everywhere else. In Trinidad there is the statement: “Mih blood eh take she/he nah…” the prejudice expressed here is only one of the precursors that fosters bullying. Prejudice is rife in many quarters and many people in positions of power bully others, especially those in their charge. Look at the Facebook post I read this morning: “Bullies aren’t teenagers in high school. They are also adults in offices with nice titles who think they have the right to break the spirits of others so they can feel better about their miserable lives.”
This bullying situation in the schools of Trinidad and Tobago is an extremely serious problem. We must remember that no child is born a bully, no child is born a racist, no child is born a murderer, no child is born a criminal, no child is born believing in a particular religion. All children are born Tabular Rasa – a clean slate. They are then injected with all kinds of philosophies, beginning with their parents.
The first agent of socialization of any child is the home. The child could be living in a big house with every ounce of affluence and yet doesn’t have a home…we remember that ‘a house is not a home.’ Parenting is of utmost importance! As I have seen in my research, almost every religion speaks about the proper training of children.
It is abundantly clear that parents have a solemn responsibility to not just bring children into the world but also must make every effort to create in their children the attributes that cultivate friendship, compassion, kindness, respect and acceptance. The bully who bullied Jayden probably lacked the essential training he needed from his parents. To say that I am angry is an understatement! The big question remains: How much bullying can you take?
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